There's nothing like a 2, almost 3, year old to remind you that you have no idea what you're doing as a parent. Overnight (literally) Nyah decided she hates her bed now and won't stay in it... and definitely won't sleep in it. It all began two mornings ago when the light popped on at 5am and a loud whining could be heard right outside our door. (I have to add that this was the first morning in several weeks that Ian was sleeping in...of course.) This had never happened before so I went to go tuck her back in bed. That was when the screaming started. And the kicking. And the writhing around. Wow. I was flabbergasted. She was having a full-fledged tantrum at pitch dark, sleepy, quiet, 5am. Yikes. It was awful. Needless to say, I never got her back to bed that morning... or since. No joke. Nap time was worse. This time my own stubbornness kicked in and after I tried rewards, bribes, and threats, I tried to barricade her in her crib. Of course that didn't work. Where there's a will there's a way... anyone with a stubborn toddler knows that! Instead I'm afraid I instilled in her a hate for her bed that day. It was my first big mistake. (Hey ok fine, that's not the first... geez!) That evening Eric and I were completely baffled and more than a little frustrated when she blatantly refused to stay in bed and cried for several hours. I mean this was our little sweety that had always loved bedtime! Seriously, she has always just cuddled up in there with her special pillow and binki and gone right to sleep. Half the time she would ask to take a nap! That's why this is so weird. Now she says she doesn't like her bed anymore. It makes me really sad because I think it's my fault for trying to force her that first day. :(
Anyway, I pulled out my beloved Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book and started the silent-back-to-bed routine. Pretty much, when we put her to bed we tell her it's bedtime and no more talking or getting up, etc. From then on we don't speak a word or even make eye contact with her. Just gently pick her up and put her back in bed. No extra attention at all - no kisses or hugs, nothing. It's really hard but it's working! I mean she immediately jumps out of bed crying and follows me to the door. I shut it, she opens it, and I gently take her back to bed. I end up just standing right outside the door and every time it's opened, even a crack, I go in and put her back to bed. It was obvious that poor little Nyah was so confused at first. I mean, we told her we wouldn't be talking anymore, that it was bedtime, but still the silence was really hard on her. It took about 20-30 times last night before she stopped opening the door and just fell asleep on the other side of the door. The hardest moment for me was the second to last time I had to take her back to bed she was crying "mama, mama, mama!" and frantically patting my lips. It was obvious she was begging me to talk. It was really sad and hard but the book had said you have to be absolutely committed and I remember how the night before we catered to everything she wanted and it never stopped! I'm so glad I stuck to it because that was the point she finally stopped.
The same thing happened today at naptime and bedtime but each time it's taken less to get her to stop opening the door. I gave up on making her stay in bed. She falls asleep on the floor and when I go to bed I transfer her to her bed. She still gets up at 5 but I think I'll work on one thing at a time and hope that it resolves itself. I think the main problem is her aversion to her bed right now. In hopes of changing her feelings, last night Eric and I decided to convert her crib into a toddler bed. Gabe and I worked hard to get her excited about it while they "helped" me do it but sadly when it came to sleeping in it, it didn't make a difference. I could just kick myself for forcing the issue that first day. But oh well. Live and learn, I guess. I won't make the same mistake with Ian! ;) By the way, I taped her light switches to off so she wouldn't be able to turn on her lights in the middle of the night and it's worked well. I remember having to do the same thing with Gabe when he went into a toddler bed. It only lasted a week or so then he would sleep in a little - 6 instead of 5! But Gabe has always been one to get up super early, even as a baby he would wake up between 5 and 6 and quietly play in his crib. Nyah, on the other hand has been more of a "late" sleeper, for our family anyway. 7am is more her style. I'm hoping that comes back and she grows quickly out of this phase. Well, it's time for me to hit the sack. I better go get her off the floor and tuck her in bed!
